Thursday, 31 December 2015

Another New Year beginning!

When I was a child, to  think of entering a new year with the number 2016 seemed to be so far in the future, it was impossible to think about it in reality... Now we are arriving at this doorstep and a whole new year waiting to be experienced.. I truly hope that for everyone, this coming year will be more peaceful and safer for people to live in.. That the rebels and evil ones are over come and life will be safe again. A hard wish, but maybe not impossible to achieve given the right approach...

meanwhile, whilst going through all my paperwork in my annual attempt at de cluttering, I found two poems.. One written by myself about my mother, and the other written by my younger daughter about her daughter.. so I thought I would type them out again.. just so its not on a piece of paper, that could be  easily lost*

Once I had a mother
Who lived so far away
And yet we spoke together
Each and every day.
Her words of wisdom I recall
Although I saw her not,
Through living long
And watching much
She always learned a lot.

Her hair was grey,
Her figure trim
Her clothes were smart
Her shoes did say,
That here was a woman
Small and neat,
Who's size of shoe
could not be beat*

She smiled a lot
And spoke out loud
Cared very  much
Not lost in a crowd.

She was my mother
I can't recall
Whether I told her
I loved her all
The time
And no matter what,
I was the luckiest daughter of
the lot!!

I wrote this for a birthday long long ago... if she had lived on, she would have been 100 this year, and her shoe size was 3, so hard to beat*


Sleepless Nights

Singular moments in a rush of days
Isolated mid-nights of disturbed sleep
We dance together to whispered melody
Shh my sweet, sleep will come
Be still and embrace peace.

A twitch, a creak, she stirs again
As her dream place recedes
She finds comfort in my arms
My soothing heartbeat
Sways her lids
And slowly she drifts away.

Soon she will grow tall
These baby nights long forgotten
Breath deep, hold close, capture
these precious moments
To last a lifetime.

Gabriella Maria O'Rourke 2008

Wednesday, 30 December 2015

a text frm JOhn Wesley

“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”
~ John Wesley  
  These words are so lovely, and hard to keep, but worthy to try and do it whilst we are living and starting a new year. I actually do try already to live this way and at times its gets a bit hard if the person you are with and trying to be kind to, does not appreciate all your efforts. But that is no excuse to give up on them, just give them another day and more time to realise that you are truly seeking to aid them in what they need to do, rather than being in judgement on them and their previous actions.  All my life I try to put myself in the other person's shoes and how that does help.. When people snap at you, its not because they are angry at you, but at something they themselves cannot achieve alone. They are tired, they are weary, there is any number of things that can make them be quite short with you.. Understand a bit where they are coming from and you will develop soon a quiet patience that will aid you in all your efforts. I find that my main point that I have to overcome is impatience* I want everything done now, and immediately a result.. of course the world does not work like that and I do so admire people that have patience to let matters takes their proper course and not interfere.
This coming year I am going to try even harder to be the best person I can, helping when I can be of help. ..Being tidier in all that I do, and organised in a much more meaningful way. I am also going to try and keep  my blog more  up to date and post a lot more.. getting used to having a blog has taken time, and now I am going to build that time into my daily timetable and organise myself so much better.. so I will be doing the best that I can for everyone that I can, and as long as I can.. thank you dear John Wesley...

Saturday, 26 December 2015

the last of Downton ......... aah

Just finished watching that last very last Downton Abbey programme... yes it was all sloppy and sentimental, but really absorbing too.. I have enjoyed all the episodes over the years, and the actors have always given their best.. a series truly worth watching every time** It evokes a time in England when all the old ways were finishing after the first world war, and it is so interesting to return and see a little of what was lost*.. this generation that we live in, does not have the grandeur, but we have the poor and impoverished with us still..the rich are still rich and lead different lives whilst the poor get poorer... as they always said, the more it changes, the more it remains the same... the last scene of the house standing tall as ever, as the snow blankets the ground.. perfect!

Friday, 18 December 2015

An Old-Fashioned World: A year

I was not able to leave a comment, so will do so here... thank you for your comments and I so hope we shall be in touch again.. meanwhile you have yourself and your family, the best xmas yet, and may the coming year be the very best you've ever had... all the best janzi

Tuesday, 15 December 2015

An open letter catchup that is for all my friends... a round robin in fact.... soemthing I hate receiving, but it is a short way to catch up with the major things that have happened..

A roundup of all, or most, that has happened to us in this last year*


In late 2014, I received an unexpected refund which allowed me at long last to go visit my son and family in Australia. We had a lovely Christmas with all the family attending here the day after boxing day, and then on the Friday 23rd January, I was leaving England to go visit Australia. It was a very long flight with a stop at Dubai and arrived safe and sound early evening at Perth Airport.

 I was met by my son Daniel and his lovely wife Alex and grandsons Griffin and Orion. The weather was amazingly warm and it was magical to be actually there with my boy.  The next day, Sunday, a celebration was held at their house for Griffin’s fifth birthday.. I stayed for two weeks and had the most wonderful time. Because of my condition I had not dared to travel far, but my body behaved itself and all was well until the last day before leaving when I had another accident, but soon recovered.

Because it had been so hot and my family refused to let me go out without factor 30 plastered all over me, John didn’t recognise me at the airport, because I was the same colour as I left, no tanning at all!!!!

I fell in love with Perth and would love to go back there , and in fact plan to return for Dan’s big birthday in 2017.

It was easy to fall back into the old routines at home, and then in April, I received news that my 4th child Christopher’s marriage was over after 8 years of marriage. This was so shocking , we had no idea they had troubles, and I was very upset and could not get it through my mind how final it all was. We tried talking to both of them, but it is happening..

 A few weeks later I got Shingles. I think it was the shock, but who knows? I was fortunate enough to get to the doctors and got a medication that helped the worst of the illness be contained. So after a while I was recovered and back into all the routines. Meanwhile, John who had his own medical troubles seemed to be coping well and he is amazingly tolerant at my going away abroad.. His breathing seemed to be ok, he has a condition called COPD.. which is incurable, but he keeps on going and jogging every day.

In May I had an appointment to have a mammogram. I was very loth to attend to this, as the whole procedure is hard and sometimes quite painful.. however I DID attend. Two weeks later I got a letter asking me to have a return appointment at the hospital. Naturally I was worried, but when I got there I was told that there was good news as it looked like pre cancer cells found in my left breast. It meant another appointment which John attended with me. The surgeon said that I could leave it, or have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy . Of course I opted for the lumpectomy and then had fifteen days of radiation therapy.

I decided to wait to have it until I got back from my visit to Canada seeing Gabriella, my daughter and her family. They live in the Ontario area and quite rural. It was lovely to see her and share time with them all despite the absence of her son, who had left home some time before.[ Too long a story to tell her, but its a sad one]...AND I met up with another old friend who I saw the last time I was  in Canada and who I first met when I was 18!!!  We had a lovely meal out together and could not stop talking  .... anyway, when I returned after two weeks, I then started the procedure to have the lumpectomy and radiation.

Page 2

John was amazing and drove me each day for my radiation thereapy to the hospital

  Finally in mid September I was finally free of hospital and life resumed once more.


Other news...

 This May I celebrated my 70th Birthday, and then on September 3rd John and I celebrated our twenty fifth wedding anniversary. Cannot believe where the years go to****

We had another Grandchild join our family, a little girl called Amelia Ivy, the daughter of John’s son Richard and his wife. She will  be one year old on December 28th.

I also had the sad news of four of my schoolfriends I had kept in touch with over the years, had passed  away and that was very upsetting as I had been quite close to them all. I guess its something we will have to get used to as we get older now.


I have been continuing with the legal action against the hospital and visited many specialists from both sides during the year. Today the 10th of December I will hear whether the judge thinks we have a case in order to proceed so that is ongoing at the moment.


 Now we are almost at the end of the year, and so much that happened, is in the past, and we are all looking forward to the next Year.


  I hope for everyone that I send this letter to, will enjoy an even better year next year, and that 2016 will be really happy and healthy for everyone..


Monday, 16 November 2015

A broken Heart

On Friday night, just as I was ready to turn off the computer, I was given the chance to see a piece of immediate news that I could not believe... on the front page of the newspaper was news just in, of a terrible massacre in Paris.. citing several places that had been attacked, and the number of people that were thought to be dead and injured** I did not think I would sleep that night after understanding the enormity of these actions by corrupt and ideologised young men, saying their actions were for Allah and the Isis factor. Their understanding was, that by killing innocent people enjoying a night out on a Friday meeting friends attending concerts and football games, it was in the name of Allah... How this comment ever justifies killing I will never understand. We know that the Mosques have people within their clergy who incite young people with their rhetoric, but we allow them to speak and radicalise the young... We must stop this dangerous practice within these places.. Not one person of authority from the Muslim community has spoken out against the horror that was inflicted on the innocent people in Paris... Not one person has stood up to say this is not the way of Islam... and you know why? Because for centuries, this belief includes the killing of people who are not following the Islamic religion... and who are therefore considered Infidels.

In the early Middle Ages, a war was carried out against the Muslims because of their influence over the majority of Europe against the Christians of the World. ~These wars were brutal and awful in their destruction of lives.. all because the Muslims wanted to overtake and influence all the world. Luckily after much struggles, the Christian Factor survived and the Muslims were pushed back into smaller areas of the world.. Now after so many centuries, this new interpretation of Islam is pushing forward with the same agenda of taking over the whole world. We are blind if we think that the thin veneer of suitable behaviour in order to fit into our modern society, means that muslims are sufficiently westernised, not to be a threat to us all.

 Modern society offers belief that a multi cultural society is possible and will lead to peace. However in order that society can say this we have to allow all cultures with their different beliefs to live along side each other and not interfere with how they are undermining our present society. It is extremely difficult for people of different faiths and cultures to live along side each other without conflict. Since the beginning of time, tribes have sought to overcome other tribes in their search for food, water and safety... Once they have achieved that and their numbers grow, they go further afield to search and overcome other tribes for possession of their land, food and water.. and so it goes on and on...

These days with wars all over the world., and parents seeking safety, we have the disasterous situation of many millions of refugees seeking help and attention to get to a place of safety. Within these terribly afflicted families are also other insurgents, intent on spreading their version of Islam wherever they can...and they will bring danger wherever they go and are allowed to stay..  Today on the news, we have been told that 45o young people have been to be trained in Syria, and who have now returned to the UK without their passports being revoked, or they being detained whilst we discover the truth about their visit to the war zone that is Syria.. Why has this happened? Why are they allowed to walk amongst us, planning what mayhem in the future? Our Border controls have always been lax, but in this time of danger, we are all at risk.... God help us, not just here in the UK but all over the western world.. We are truly at the start of a very perilous journey..

Monday, 2 November 2015

lacking order leads to chaos.

My grandson left home this Spring, as soon as he turned 16 years old. Apparently that is the age, when you can make decisions and act on them. When you do not have to do what your parents wish you to do. When you can refuse to see a Doctor or Specialist who might be able to help you curb your anxieties, but where you can decide to self medicate instead with Marihuana.

When I was rearing my children I was able to discipline them without worry. When they deserved a telling off, or a smack they got it without worrying about the law getting involved. Things have got so bad now, that parents are afraid to parent, and now we are seeing almost feral children taking over schools' classrooms and just doing what they want to do. Society is going to lose out by rearing this generation who have no respect for older people, no respect for each other, and who live their lives
 concentrating on what they want... whether it is booze or drugs, endless parties and noisy music or the latest gadgets or designer clothes*

They do not have any idea that speaking to an adult, should be different than talking to another
child. They have no concept of knowing their place in this world, which is as youngsters, learning how to behave and succeed

 I worry how the next generation is going to cope. Already we have children having children, more than at any time before.. we were sold the idea that sex education in schools would teach the kids what happened when they indulged in it, and what happened?,., more babies than ever are born year on year sometimes to girls as young as 11!.

 If a child will not follow your rules and wishes in your own home, you cannot put a finger on them to make them fall into line... so, we have children ruling the roost and demanding and getting whatever they wish for. All this turbulence is caused by lack of discipline in their private lives and also society who has decided that children have as many rights as adults. This surely must be incorrect.

We were taught to respect Adults because they were older and wiser.. We stood up together when a teacher  came to the classroom. We called all adults Mr.. or Mrs.... or Aunty and Uncle if they were not related but friends of the family... Grandparents were definitely called by a proper address, rather than first names as seems to be the case so often, now.

 I resent very much, the fact that my step grandchildren have been allowed by their parents to call me by my first name. When I objected, the 8 year old, said to me, 'but my mummy calls you by your name, and I already have a grandma.'...I have tried to get them to call me something understandable, like Grandma J, but no go. 

I am far away from my daughter living in Canada, but the situation would be the same here, if they lived here. We have given too many rights to the children and they do not have the maturity to be able to manage these rights correctly. They are so aware from a very young age, that touching them by smacks or restraint is against the law and they are not afraid to say so to your face!

I have an example of this freedom to choose , which is my grandson refusing to live in his own home with his parents, because he could not do without smoking the weed... he feels that his parents should ignore the fact that he smokes several times a day, to the point where he is incoherent and not able to function. He thinks that his choice should be allowed.. he knows that his father cannot hit him, so causes huge scenes to try and goad him into retaliation, then he could go to the social services and say that his life is endangered by his father's behaviour... what kind of society are we rearing.?

.. it is quickly falling back into anarchy, which we can see if we look at the trouble spots all over the world.. the young are upsetting all the rules, causing anarchy and unrest, as they believe they can establish a better, more fairer world... absolute rubbish.!!!.. the balance will never be addressed to being all equal, life just does not turn out like that..
. Even if you shared wealth and possessions equally, within a very short time, there will be those that have more, and those that have less... its an endless cycle and one which gets repeated over and over.

Whilst trying to safeguard the safety of children within the  home, trying to make adults not beat their children, the law has backfired! ... There will always be abusers, and that will continue , rules or no rules, law or no law.. For the sake of the few abusers, we have left our parents without the equipment to run orderly and respectful  homes, where love abounds and the children do well  and treat their adults and older people with respect and honour..

We need the tools to create a safe environment for our kids, but at the moment its a total mess and doesn't seem to be getting any better. Instead of stopping abuse by parents on children, we are creating a society, where the children abuse the adults , and that's no way to run the world!

Friday, 30 October 2015

I am back in touch with the Universe and cannot be happier**

  I was not surprised to find that the iphone had to be completely reconnected to the web, as if it was a new machine... so I went and called Apple help, and finally after several attempts to get seen to , and after holding on each time for more than ten minutes, I got a girl who was very very helpful... later it turned out it was her first day, and she had the patience of Job, as I am no techie, and had to wait for me to implement her suggestions, but she got it working again.

. I think that the person yesterday at the Apple shop should have got me back on line, but it was so busy I don't expect he really had the time...

 all in all, I think it was almost two hours of hanging on then chatting to my friend the girl who was based in Lisbon** to get me back connected... well, how marvellous that feels, and I just hope that from now on in, this phone will behave itself***
 This is a picture of a very happy lady, back in touch with Blogland  yay !!!!¬


I went to meet with the Oncologist this morning Monday 26th October 2015, and she was absolutely wreathed in smiles after examining me. She palpated the area that had been given radio therapy and saw that there was some scar tissue that made it feel a little hard around the site of the lumpectomy, but she said it was obviously wonderful to be able to say that I am now all clear, and that I don't have to be seen again until next year, when I will be called in for another Mammogram just to keep an eye on things.. Phew, what a relief... I hadn't really realised just how anxious I had been before the meeting... now I can relax and do whatever presents itself to do.. wonderful news, and so thankful for attending that mammogram in May...

tomorrow I get to go on a very long drive.. about almost 4 hours away.. to visit an old school friend. the last time we met was several years ago and it will be good to catch up with her, and another friend who will be meeting me there. I hope that the weather is as clement as today has been. Today was just the most wonderful autumn day, very mild and with all the wonderful colours of the trees and their leaves. Darkness catches up with us quickly now, but its to be expected... just that its so nice when the evenings are long, but now around five thirty the darkness imposes its will on the living.  Each afternoon John takes Millie out for her walk.. Its about an hour and she gets to run free for a while, but now, they are returning in the darkness even though when they left it was bright sunshine.

I am still feeling the affect of this radio therapy I think, because around 7 30 in the evening I start to flag, and if it was not so early, I would happily climb into my bed and go to sleep. I just hope that the long journey tomorrow will be ok, and that I will be back earlier than that so I wont fall asleep on the motorway*
 Although England is a very small place, travelling to see friends in other parts of the world can take some  hours, and this time, my friend lives near Southampton, so its a reasonably straight line there, just a long time getting to her house!!

this is a bit out of sync as it happened at the start of this week, but I shall put it here anyway, another set of random thoughts ,,

what a palaver**

On Monday because BT telecoms advert kept  getting in the way every time I wished to use the web on my mobile, I decided to see if I could rid myself of the annoyance by reverting to an older setting.. well, that did it* It froze onscreen with the apple icon, and stayed like that.. could not get it to jump or reboot, no matter what I tried over the next few days, and oh, what a loss it was to me..

 I went to visit friends and of course got lost, because I didn't have my little helpful map thing on the phone

.. finally on Thursday, that is, yesterday, I got to go to the Apple shop in Leicester.. Of course I printed out a map and directions, but guess what?

 There was an accident, so had to turn round, rejoin the motorway and get off at the next junction.. so no map was helpful at all!! I stopped at a small garage and the lady told me the directions and I bought the map of the area off her, and started on my way again. The kindness of some people is so charming.. anyway, got to the centre of the town, stopped in a restricted zone to see if any one could help.. just hope I don't get a ticket for that... then parked and thought that if I have to walk, a long way, then I will have to do it, but park the car first..

 On my way to the lifts I asked a man where to find the shop and he said that there was one in the very centre where we stood.. Thank the lord, again the kindness of strangers.. he took me onto the floor of the mall and pointed it out to me..

A young man in the shop  saw me and took the phone away for half an hour, then returned it to me.. the phone is now working, but I have to rejoin it to the wifi and all the other settings re establish..

Now I am NOT a techie, so probably the whole of today will be taken up, just trying to reconnect... wish me luck!!!

Sunday, 25 October 2015

set piece for Autumn

This afternoon I decided to do as other bloggers have done and arrange a little set piece to show Autumn is here, or as the others call it Fall... That word Fall used to be an English term,but got crossed out after the Normans took over in the 11th century and we use the French word instead of our own real one... However it went across the seas and is used in Canada and America, so we can still relate.. I picked the pine cones and sprayed them gold and added the horse chestnut fruits and a few leaves and a small squash fruit. I tried to get a pumpkin, but they are not on sale over here yet.. at least not in my neck of the woods... I always used to like this time of the year, when the leaves came down and the trees became bare.. it was a time of getting new coats and new uniforms for school... a time of restarting all over for the coming school year. Going to school on the first day, finding your desk in the classroom, smelling the newness of the books, pads, and pencils are what remain in my memory. The first time you open the book to write what is on the board in front of the class, and put it into the pristine pages of the new book is a wonderful memory.

 I loved learning.. not much good at it really because I never pushed myself, but I held my own, never first, but not last either in the classroom.

 I was taught by nuns. They were very strict, but fair. I have read all sorts of horror stories of people educated by nuns, but our nuns were not nasty or sadistic, just good wholesome women who were there to teach us the subjects. It was a school that was established about thirty years before I joined it. I was nine, so that would have been in 1954. We had moved house to Hampton Middlesex, and the school was a bus ride away in the next village. Each morning we would walk down the road for about fifteen minutes and then wait on the side of the platform for the train to arrive. We went with slightly older girls who kept an eye on us, making sure we didn't get into any danger.

 After arriving at the station in the village of Sunbury on Thames, we would then walk together for another 15 to 20 minutes to the gates of the school then walk up the long drive. On the right of the drive there was a big field with at least one or more horses just chumping away at the grass. Never knew who owned them but we saw them every day.

 Walking up the drive would take another few minutes before we would arrive at the cloakroom to take off our outer garments and go to our classroom.


Tomorrow I am meeting up with my oncologist to decide if that treatment was sufficient and I don't need any more attention.. I certainly hope so, but I shall wait and see and not get worried until I know.  Its been quite a journey from the mammogram in May and then after coming back from seeing my girl in Canada, starting the treatment in July... 15 days of radiotherapy and then, as they said, two more weeks when the therapy was continuing to work around the breast... bruised and discoloured, itchy and irritated skin that broke and wept a bit... then it all started to heal... Then, I caught a virus that laid me low for three weeks, so this evening I am happy that my body is back to normal and I feel quite myself again.

I cannot imagine that in two months we shall be at the end of another Christmas day.. This year, instead of entertaining the family and friends, I am going to be spoiled and given lunch at my daughter's house in Oxford. My other two sons will be there and her family, so it will be super to be all together.. We shall probably try and ring Dan in Australia and Gaby in Canada, so we can all chat and catch up and bring them into the celebrations with their little families too.

I like Christmas, but it is such a lot of work for mothers and wives. I don't think that one really appreciates how much has to be done, planned and executed and keeping a smooth household without dramas as well as you go along! when all five were little, it was very hard work, but so enjoyable seeing those little faces light up on Christmas day.. what fun and happiness and laughter roared through the house. magical days indeed.

So now I am not having to worry about Christmas planning, just having to get all the gifts sorted, and I actually do start in October to get the little bits and pieces sorted so I can manage to have an array of gifts for my kids and their kids, without spending a fortune. I know how easy it is to spend a lot of money on toys and items for others, without really knowing just exactly how much everything is costing.. but this year I am going to be frugal.. no more sending out #Christmas cards Used to spend over £60 just on the postage, which is stupid money gone down the drain, so they will all be emailed, or spoken to.. I know its nice to see cards, but really the cost of sending now I am retired, it is just too much money..
I sound like a skinflint I know, but really it is common sense..  I have found reading other blogs so inspirational and the ideas astoundingly good and easy to copy.. I had one year, the very best gift of all. It was a hamper made by my daughter in law, with homemade things in it, like jam, bread biscuits, soap and it really was so wonderful as it was made with thoughtfulness and deep love.. so that's the mood for my Christmas this year.. somethings made by me, and other gifts thoughtfully chosen at the Charity Shops.. what are you all going to do this year?

Friday, 25 September 2015

week 2

This is the start of week two after completing the sessions of radiotherapy.. I really did feel like a fraud whilst waiting in the waiting rooms for my turn. The hospital was amazing and the staff so kind and gentle, which made it much better for us all. However it seemed that the others were far more unwell than I seemed to be, and bought me down to earth with a bang. I attended the hospital for 15 days excluding the weekends, and finally it ended. We were given a short talk by the expert radiologist who warned me that the skin under my boob was likely to break and be painful and to be aware of tiredness and maybe a bit of depression afterwards. The zapping continues to work for two weeks after ending the sessions... so during that two weeks cells are dying and that is why the skin breaks...

Well, it does break that's for sure.. after two or three days all seemed intact, but now it is raw and open and very red indeed. The curious thing is that its just itchy not a pain as such, just so irritating.. I put cream on it, but it doesn't really have much affect except feeling cooler as the skin receives the cream 

Even my bathtimes are not as relaxing and enjoyable- as I can only bathe in water, no perfumes or creams or potions in the water, so its quite an in and out operation at the moment... no lingering in sweet smelling perfumes in the bath**

 However, despite the tiredness too, which I was trying to will away, I am pleased that I dealt with it as fast as they could do it, and not put it off.. I was saved by mammograms and certainly, because of no symptoms, would be carrying on without knowing that my cells were about to turn cancerous** What a different outcome that would have  been*

Sunday, 16 August 2015

the most wonderful sunny sunday

Already it is 16th of August and the days are winding by.. Already in a few weeks, we shall celebrate our twenty fifth anniversary.. I cannot believe we have been married that long, and I never thought I would pass the first year!! To say that first year was difficult would be an understatement... we have had to mingle two families and two sets of children, not the easiest action in the world. Now here we are almost 25 years later, all the children grown , some with their own children, and living in a huge house, which we could have used at the beginning when the kids were at home, but we live in alone.. rattling around a bit, it is true, now that we are semi retired.

Over the last 8 years I have been in and out of hospital for one thing or another, and ended up with a new hip two new knees, and also two spinal operations. My energy levels were caput for a very long time, and I fretted about being able to manage such a large house and garden.

However this past month, I have found energy I didn't know I possessed, and have been in the garden almost daily to cut and weed and redesign the beds.. It feels so good to be able to have time out there and to see the results of a few hours together working on the garden. We have also had to deal with my husband's COPD which affects his breathing and lung capacity. He is still running daily, but his breathing is much harder to do than before..

So to share our times working together has become a real joy. As I sit here overlooking the garden, I see the leaves of the trees shaking gently in the breeze, the sunlight reflecting on them, and the sturdy vegetable beans climbing up the stakes by the hedges lining the whole garden. It is so peaceful to see and watch in the sunshine. I like Autumn, when the nights start drawing inwards, and the weather turns cooler, but only after having a hot summer to generate strength in my bones*

In ten days I start a course of radiotherapy, which will make certain that the lumpectomy was totally effective. I must say I did  not take it seriously when I was called back to see the doctors at the breast clinic. I had only by chance attended a mammogram appointment. I had not wanted to do it, because it is  usually so uncomfortable, but this time it was much gentler. I was surprised when I got the letter to attend the breast clinic and talk to a specialist. I went and had my talk and was shown the mammogram which appeared to show small cluster of white spots under my left nipple.

 I was shocked as I had had absolutely no symptoms at all, no lumps, no irritation, no indents, nothing... so that mammogram showed this in time, as they were pre-cancerous cells. Which could develop into something much worse if left alone**

 So, now I just have to do the radiotherapy course and it is over 3 weeks, one every day except the weekends.. I am so thankful that I have caught this in time, if I had not gone and done the tests, I could be in a really awful situation, a few years down the line.. At 70, I shall now have these mammograms every year to keep an eye on my body.. Thank goodness for the NHS here in England, so hardworked but still a life saver..

Monday, 3 August 2015

Whilst I was visiting in Canada, we went to the Beach at Coburg, which was utterly gorgeous, but the weather decided to be inclement so it was far too cold for me to take a swim there.. This, didn't however put off more stalwart people who managed to ignore the cold breeze and take their pleasure in the sea anyway. My daughter and her husband and family emigrated to Canada almost 14 years ago. They started off in the Vancouver area which was lovely, and then the work took them to Toronto where they lived outside a short train ride away. Then, two years ago, they decided to move out further into the country and found a marvellous place just a few miles outside Coburg in Ontario The low bungalow sits in its own three acres of land, surrounded by more country land. The neighbours although spaced apart are very friendly and have welcomed my girl and her family and include them in their gatherings at the weekends and holiday days. She holds down a very senior job in Toronto, whilst her husband is a stay at home dad since they moved here. The children attend school a bus ride away and are doing well. Well that is, the girl who is 11 is doing well, the boy who has Aspergers, is not living any more at home, and is a source of constant worry as he discovered how drugs could ease his chronic anxiety.. that has been a nightmare for the last few years, and they thought that moving into a more rural area would let him find another way to be happy and relaxed.. unfortunately even in the rural areas you can get hold of the Weed.. so that plan backfired... Added to that, the way that the parent's hands are tied as far as discipline, and you get the picture... Despite all that, they love where they live and would never think to return to the UK despite not having any family close to them. We keep in contact with Facetime and the Telephone, so I am there for my girl should she want to relate her fears or her successes.. I spent two weeks with them in this summer and it was the most wonderful holiday I have had so far. I had a marvellous one with my son earlier in the year, but on this holiday, I just read and read and read, what a luxury that was... the weather was a bit iffy but managed to get a bit of a tan, but I was so relaxed and ready to find out what the lumpectomy I was scheduled to have a few days after my return, would show..

  I am sad that all my other posts are there online at Sawley Express Rosiedayze, but not able to post anything further myself... so if you are directed here, please feel welcome, and come back anytime soon..

Sunday, 2 August 2015

my screen name is Janzi and so I shall use this one to be identified online for this blog..

I live in the middle of England and with my second husband,live in a Georgian Rectory. It is a lovely house that needed a lot of work done on it, which is why we were able to buy it on the open market. We moved here in 1998, the longest I have ever lived in one house. During my first marriage, I loved moving, and despite having five small children, managed to move over 20 times, each time the houses got better and better. So with this second marriage with two children left at home, we have moved much less, this time only 5 times in 25 years, which is a huge drop from the 23 times in 22 years**

I love the whole experience of cleaning the house, decluttering, and renewing items that will be saved in the house we are moving to... When we moved here , I only really planned staying two or three years, and then planned to move another time afterwards and ending up in a serviced flat which could provide security and safety in old age. However, we have now been here for over 17 years, and I don't think my husband wants to move again, which has rather stymied my plans!  This house is late Georgian/Regency period and has loads of lovely features that we have kept and renewed. Having been used by Church Families over the years since it was built in 1823 and relied on the parish people to help them maintain the house and its gardens. This resulted in all sorts of different things that happened, the most dangerous being the fact that the metal sink was live with electricity and meant the house had to be rewired immediately we moved in.  The shutters were all painted in place, so that was my first job, to free them and see if they still worked... which they did, then I got the flooring to be stripped back from carpeting to the original Georgian wood floors. Lovely, but needing to be varnished again soon. With dogs of course the floor does get scratched from their claws. We have noticed now that we have one dog left, life is a lot less dusty and difficult to keep clean. We have 8 bedrooms, but three of these are sectioned off into an annexe with its own front door and totally separated from the main house. This was done in the late forties of the last century to accommodate the Curate who assisted the Vicar.  When we moved in, we renovated next door, the annexe, so that my husband's parents could live there... which was a godsend when they both became ill in their last years and we could look after them closely. which we did until they died several  years ago.. now we have a little family living there and renting from us.With the five bedrooms, we have ample space for us to have guests stay over, which is so useful at Christmas with all the family coming to visit. With 8 children between us, this is quite a full time of partying...