Monday, 2 November 2015

lacking order leads to chaos.

My grandson left home this Spring, as soon as he turned 16 years old. Apparently that is the age, when you can make decisions and act on them. When you do not have to do what your parents wish you to do. When you can refuse to see a Doctor or Specialist who might be able to help you curb your anxieties, but where you can decide to self medicate instead with Marihuana.

When I was rearing my children I was able to discipline them without worry. When they deserved a telling off, or a smack they got it without worrying about the law getting involved. Things have got so bad now, that parents are afraid to parent, and now we are seeing almost feral children taking over schools' classrooms and just doing what they want to do. Society is going to lose out by rearing this generation who have no respect for older people, no respect for each other, and who live their lives
 concentrating on what they want... whether it is booze or drugs, endless parties and noisy music or the latest gadgets or designer clothes*

They do not have any idea that speaking to an adult, should be different than talking to another
child. They have no concept of knowing their place in this world, which is as youngsters, learning how to behave and succeed

 I worry how the next generation is going to cope. Already we have children having children, more than at any time before.. we were sold the idea that sex education in schools would teach the kids what happened when they indulged in it, and what happened?,., more babies than ever are born year on year sometimes to girls as young as 11!.

 If a child will not follow your rules and wishes in your own home, you cannot put a finger on them to make them fall into line... so, we have children ruling the roost and demanding and getting whatever they wish for. All this turbulence is caused by lack of discipline in their private lives and also society who has decided that children have as many rights as adults. This surely must be incorrect.

We were taught to respect Adults because they were older and wiser.. We stood up together when a teacher  came to the classroom. We called all adults Mr.. or Mrs.... or Aunty and Uncle if they were not related but friends of the family... Grandparents were definitely called by a proper address, rather than first names as seems to be the case so often, now.

 I resent very much, the fact that my step grandchildren have been allowed by their parents to call me by my first name. When I objected, the 8 year old, said to me, 'but my mummy calls you by your name, and I already have a grandma.'...I have tried to get them to call me something understandable, like Grandma J, but no go. 

I am far away from my daughter living in Canada, but the situation would be the same here, if they lived here. We have given too many rights to the children and they do not have the maturity to be able to manage these rights correctly. They are so aware from a very young age, that touching them by smacks or restraint is against the law and they are not afraid to say so to your face!

I have an example of this freedom to choose , which is my grandson refusing to live in his own home with his parents, because he could not do without smoking the weed... he feels that his parents should ignore the fact that he smokes several times a day, to the point where he is incoherent and not able to function. He thinks that his choice should be allowed.. he knows that his father cannot hit him, so causes huge scenes to try and goad him into retaliation, then he could go to the social services and say that his life is endangered by his father's behaviour... what kind of society are we rearing.?

.. it is quickly falling back into anarchy, which we can see if we look at the trouble spots all over the world.. the young are upsetting all the rules, causing anarchy and unrest, as they believe they can establish a better, more fairer world... absolute rubbish.!!!.. the balance will never be addressed to being all equal, life just does not turn out like that..
. Even if you shared wealth and possessions equally, within a very short time, there will be those that have more, and those that have less... its an endless cycle and one which gets repeated over and over.

Whilst trying to safeguard the safety of children within the  home, trying to make adults not beat their children, the law has backfired! ... There will always be abusers, and that will continue , rules or no rules, law or no law.. For the sake of the few abusers, we have left our parents without the equipment to run orderly and respectful  homes, where love abounds and the children do well  and treat their adults and older people with respect and honour..

We need the tools to create a safe environment for our kids, but at the moment its a total mess and doesn't seem to be getting any better. Instead of stopping abuse by parents on children, we are creating a society, where the children abuse the adults , and that's no way to run the world!


  1. I agree with every word of this. I think we are too far gone to make things right again. Sad. So very sad.

  2. Oh Birdie and we didn't get a say to arrange this situation, nor are we given the tools to oppose - what will eventually happen is a dictator or someone very like one, will have to take charge and put in rules that we might not like, but which in the long run will bring the balance is very sad at the moment as you said my friend..

  3. I could have written this post. I agree with every word you wrote. It is one reason I am leaving a job in the public library system that I love after 19 years. The children are so rude and know there is little we can do to correct them. They lie about us to their parents who then come and threaten us. They treat us as if we are their equals with no respect for us at all. I don't know what the answer is if the parents won't step up and get their rights back.

  4. Oh Kathy, we were not called on to make decisions that now affect our lives.. the people that decided that children would have the same rights as adults, obviously were working on ideas that they had had when they were about 16 and never changed their views. The result now is not a calm, kind reflective society where everyone is respected, but a society that has no rules, is governed by outbursts of anger by the community that often ends in outright riots** this is a nightmare we have allowed to happen, and it will continue for quite a while yet,much to my disappointment. I never had to beat my children into submission, but they knew exactly how far to go, and when they had overstepped the mark... they conducted their lives accordingly and have turned into individuals that I love and respect. They knew that there was a deterrent, which was the discipline factor, but the idea of them shouting back at me, or ignoring orders or requests never entered their minds.. Giving too much freedom to children from the beginning, means that they do not understand boundaries and acceptable behaviour and results in the chaos that we see. I could go on and on, but just have to end here, wishing you all a good day, without too many dealings with uncaring folk!

  5. I'm so sorry you're going through this, Jeannine. I can only imagine how hard it must be.

    Thank you for your sweet comment and your visit.

    Take care,