I thought I would be brave and start an Etsy shop, but apart from putting one item on, I have hidden myself away from doing any more and yet I have lots and lots of stuff that I could put on there, but its a bit frightening to me at the moment... I will summon up courage later and have another go, because I have enough to put on the shop and sell it, just getting my head around the fact that everything would have to be posted and I hadn't thought about that fact, as with ebay you can choose if they come to collect themselves or courier... so that's the update on the shop...
Apart from that I see that it is almost another two months since I posted, and already we are approaching the middle of April... each year it seems the time slips by so fast, but this year is getting even faster, and with this decade it seems that 80 is looming very fast on the horizon indeed!!
Yesterday I went and spent hours at a Spa local to our house. It was a typical April day, showers and sunshine, but so relaxing.. We went in at 11 and came home after three thirty, so quite a considerable time just focussing on ourselves. As mothers we never have this luxury do we? So, for my girl to take time out from her full time job and motherhood was great. She bought this day for me as part of my Christmas gift, and I must say I really did appreciate the time spent with her. As she lives two hours drive away we catch up regularly on the phone, but see each other several times a year.. however it is rare too, to have just us talking with no interruptions.
I had head and face massages, and what bliss... each time I do a Spa day... very rarely... maybe this was my third in my lifetime... I think how easy it is to arrange and why don't I do it more often..
When we arrived home my husband remarked on how laid back we looked... so relaxed after our hours together. I am happy for her too, that after several hard years after her husband left her for another, she is back on track and utterly happy* All the children are now grown up and on their ways to fulfilling careers and at last she has found a man that compliments her in every way and she is so at peace with herself and happy. We met him a couple of weeks ago and found him great company and certainly her intellectual equal. Of course at their age, everyone will have baggage,.. he has two grown up children and holds down a very important job with one of our main building societies. He seems utterly in love with her too, so I certainly hope this will work out in the future.
We only want our children to be happy don't we.. despite what happens to them, we cannot interfere, as it is their lives they are leading, but how hard that is, not to get involved...
Her daughter my granddaughter, is getting married June of next year, and I am sure that will come around very fast.. they have already chosen where they will marry and hold the reception... all very exciting..
At home, we are still trying to declutter, got so much to get rid of , it seems to take ages and when you look again, it doesn't seem that much has happened although I have been to the dump to rid of the stuff.,.. so you see, life here has been busy and that is why I haven't had the time to get typing recently... so for the moment I will sign off, but hope to have more time later in the week...
Just random thoughts on my day to day world, now that I am retired.
Wednesday, 6 April 2016
Tuesday, 16 February 2016
Biting the bullet!!
Well, I have decided after much cogitation that I am going to open an Etsy Shop.. I have been on Ebay since 07 and found it quite useful, but expensive as a lot of my items do not sell straight away and have to be re posted often as much as five times before someone sees it and then buys. This means that I have paid sometimes more than the original cost and have made absolutely zero money, so that is not very good business.
I see that Etsy allows you to be on for longer periods and I hope that this extension will allow me more success. I have always shied away from Etsy as I never understood how you could have a shop with only one example of each item, but I guess it works at Etsy because it is getting to have more of a public profile and getting better known.
I love visiting Charity Shops and have done over many years. In the beginning it was because, having five children we used to use the places as where you could buy items for the home cheaper than anywhere else, and if you were really lucky, find some fantastic bargains along the way. All my children had new pushchairs and prams, but only those I found in the charity shops...none of this spending over £400 for a pram that would be used a few times especially when we got a car to get around in.. so charity shops have been my way of spending for a very long time. When we were young and poor, I could still find paintings and curtains and tablecloths hardly used that brightened up my home at very little cost. I know that my sister in law bought all her baby clothes there, but I didn't , preferring to rely on the sales times as the children got bigger and bigger.
Now charity shopping is a daily indulgence that I love. I love to mooch amongst all the items , [ my mother called it 'mumping'- which is an old word meaning getting something for almost nothing..] seeking out that little something that might make my heart sing, whether it be a jumper or top that has lovely colours, or a handbag that even made in leather might cost no more than a pound to buy!
Since moving to our present house almost 18 years ago, I have used them more than ever. We moved from a ordinary 4 bed house to a large Georgian Rectory, with 8 bedrooms, three of which are separated into living quarters that have their own front door. This Annexe was so useful when John's parents became old and infirm as we cared for them until they died. Now we rent out this side of the house and the people are just the best we could wish for. However, in the beginning as I said, moving from a normal sized house to one this size with five bedrooms , I had to find carpets and furniture and other items fast to fill the spaces and try and make it all as a home, despite we both working on our businesses from home too.
So John took over the ground floor office where the Rector or Vicar had his office, and I used the smallest bedroom upstairs for my office where I work over looking the garden and directly above John's office. It worked out so well.. during the days, concentrating on our businesses, we rarely saw each other apart from lunch break. We each had phones and computers and got on with our own businesses. His was Accountancy and keeping in touch with the office in Buckingham that he had founded several years before and sometimes saw clients here too.
I was ringing the world arranging interviews, meetings and taking on business all over the UK and mainland Europe, as I was an international head hunter for Lawyers at senior and Partner level. This is how we managed during fourteen of those years. Now John is semi retired and works only two days weekly, whilst since my operation in 011, I have closed my business and am retired fully from it.
I have found being retired, very difficult to cope with, as in my job I travelled a lot and met so many people whether clients or candidates.. now I had no structure to my days, which was why going and looking in the charity shops took on a whole new perspective.
I was now on the lookout to upgrade everything that I had bought in the early days and replacing and decorating the rooms gave me a much needed focus to attend to. With the old bits and pieces, I sought to sell them on Ebay and often very happily too, both for me and the purchaser..
It is to give me more challenges that I have decided to open shop with Etsy and see how I go with it... so wish me luck and I will keep you up to date... of course it is going to be called Janzi's World... of course it depends on that name being available.. we shall keep fingers crossed and get back to tell you so....
I see that Etsy allows you to be on for longer periods and I hope that this extension will allow me more success. I have always shied away from Etsy as I never understood how you could have a shop with only one example of each item, but I guess it works at Etsy because it is getting to have more of a public profile and getting better known.
I love visiting Charity Shops and have done over many years. In the beginning it was because, having five children we used to use the places as where you could buy items for the home cheaper than anywhere else, and if you were really lucky, find some fantastic bargains along the way. All my children had new pushchairs and prams, but only those I found in the charity shops...none of this spending over £400 for a pram that would be used a few times especially when we got a car to get around in.. so charity shops have been my way of spending for a very long time. When we were young and poor, I could still find paintings and curtains and tablecloths hardly used that brightened up my home at very little cost. I know that my sister in law bought all her baby clothes there, but I didn't , preferring to rely on the sales times as the children got bigger and bigger.
Now charity shopping is a daily indulgence that I love. I love to mooch amongst all the items , [ my mother called it 'mumping'- which is an old word meaning getting something for almost nothing..] seeking out that little something that might make my heart sing, whether it be a jumper or top that has lovely colours, or a handbag that even made in leather might cost no more than a pound to buy!
Since moving to our present house almost 18 years ago, I have used them more than ever. We moved from a ordinary 4 bed house to a large Georgian Rectory, with 8 bedrooms, three of which are separated into living quarters that have their own front door. This Annexe was so useful when John's parents became old and infirm as we cared for them until they died. Now we rent out this side of the house and the people are just the best we could wish for. However, in the beginning as I said, moving from a normal sized house to one this size with five bedrooms , I had to find carpets and furniture and other items fast to fill the spaces and try and make it all as a home, despite we both working on our businesses from home too.
So John took over the ground floor office where the Rector or Vicar had his office, and I used the smallest bedroom upstairs for my office where I work over looking the garden and directly above John's office. It worked out so well.. during the days, concentrating on our businesses, we rarely saw each other apart from lunch break. We each had phones and computers and got on with our own businesses. His was Accountancy and keeping in touch with the office in Buckingham that he had founded several years before and sometimes saw clients here too.
I was ringing the world arranging interviews, meetings and taking on business all over the UK and mainland Europe, as I was an international head hunter for Lawyers at senior and Partner level. This is how we managed during fourteen of those years. Now John is semi retired and works only two days weekly, whilst since my operation in 011, I have closed my business and am retired fully from it.
I have found being retired, very difficult to cope with, as in my job I travelled a lot and met so many people whether clients or candidates.. now I had no structure to my days, which was why going and looking in the charity shops took on a whole new perspective.
I was now on the lookout to upgrade everything that I had bought in the early days and replacing and decorating the rooms gave me a much needed focus to attend to. With the old bits and pieces, I sought to sell them on Ebay and often very happily too, both for me and the purchaser..
It is to give me more challenges that I have decided to open shop with Etsy and see how I go with it... so wish me luck and I will keep you up to date... of course it is going to be called Janzi's World... of course it depends on that name being available.. we shall keep fingers crossed and get back to tell you so....
Sunday, 14 February 2016
Pain
Pain is a very strange thing. When someone tells you they are in pain, you try to sympathise, but without actually feeling the pain, its just a noise you make without any real understanding That is, until you get to learn to live with pain on a day to day basis and then it is all changed When I had the two spinal ops that changed my life and left me worse off than when I went into hospital** I was without the main pain of sciatica, but strange other pains in my legs, much less than before, but still there and enough to distract my thoughts.. Because the ops had left me semi paralysed below, I had pain which I was able to manage with the use of a strong version of codeine...... However I also developed pain in my right shoulder which they tell me is the rotary part of the shoulder for movement and of the cause which is arthritis So they cannot do much for that apart from operating, and I don't feel like have any more operations if I can help it- so today despite the codeine, my shoulder has been most painful In fact so much so, that I had to stop the car and take some more in order to be able to drive a little better without the pain I take almost every day between 8 and 12 tablets a day usually.... as I've said its been much more painful and so now I am sitting here just wondering whether it will be worth sitting up watching tv or would I be better off just having a hot bath and going to bed The trouble is, that Saturday nights I try and share a foreign film with sub titles with my husband- We have so many things that we do ourselves, he is still working part time, and the evenings in our house, means that I am often upstairs on the computer, whilst he is downstairs drawing or reading or doing some other activity that relaxes his mind after working all day as an Accountant. So Saturdays are our shared evenings together... He much prefers this, than going out to see a film or dinner at a restaurant I don't really mind, because I would be able to arrange to meet friends if I felt a need to go and eat out, or see a film. But Saturday nights have developed into an almost ritual time where we watch the films on BBC4 and then finally get ready for bed around 11 30. during the week we manage to get upstairs by about 10 30 so a little later, it being Saturday
.[.When I was younger, the idea of getting to bed so early would have been mortifying, but one does change as one gets into the last remaining decades- despite the best will in the world, we do all slow down much as I hate to admit it]
Earlier today
I was trying to get something from higher up than I could reach, so pulled a chair closer to make the height possible, and you know, getting onto that chair was a much slower action than it used to be ha ha- however I did manage, and got what I wanted to get down, but I really was shocked how much longer it took to achieve.
With five children, I had always been on the go, never stopping for a moment, and the years just whistled by, and then you turn around, to see the kids all gone and grown up with families of their own and gone to live elsewhere, and its then that you realise that they have grown up and you have grown older. No longer can I say I am middle aged, but now if a newpaper wanted to describe me, I would probably be said to be a married pensioner in their seventies!!! Shock! Horror, when and how did that happen.. When they were younger, and I had three, I used to daydream that in a few years they would be old enough to leave when I wanted to go out at night with their father and that we would do all the things we couldn't do when we were in our twenties.. of course what I didn't realise was that I had missed the boat.. when you are out and about in your twenties, at forties its a whole different question and maybe that its all not right for you any longer...
Well I guess you cant have it all, and we did have five healthy clever and loving children that have remained in touch and who like us as parents and want to share time with us., so it cant all be bad.. I don't know what I would advise people to do...get married early and have the family, or wait until you had done all the traveling and nightclubbing you wanted to do, career built and then look around for a husband to father your children... I think you become more picky as you get older, want more than one does in their twenties.. I think if I had left having children and marrying until later, I might have totally missed the boat as so many young people do.. and besides, having children in your late thirties and forties is much harder work than when you are younger... a hard choice, but I think I would still come down on having it earlier rather than later..
.[.When I was younger, the idea of getting to bed so early would have been mortifying, but one does change as one gets into the last remaining decades- despite the best will in the world, we do all slow down much as I hate to admit it]
Earlier today
I was trying to get something from higher up than I could reach, so pulled a chair closer to make the height possible, and you know, getting onto that chair was a much slower action than it used to be ha ha- however I did manage, and got what I wanted to get down, but I really was shocked how much longer it took to achieve.
With five children, I had always been on the go, never stopping for a moment, and the years just whistled by, and then you turn around, to see the kids all gone and grown up with families of their own and gone to live elsewhere, and its then that you realise that they have grown up and you have grown older. No longer can I say I am middle aged, but now if a newpaper wanted to describe me, I would probably be said to be a married pensioner in their seventies!!! Shock! Horror, when and how did that happen.. When they were younger, and I had three, I used to daydream that in a few years they would be old enough to leave when I wanted to go out at night with their father and that we would do all the things we couldn't do when we were in our twenties.. of course what I didn't realise was that I had missed the boat.. when you are out and about in your twenties, at forties its a whole different question and maybe that its all not right for you any longer...
Well I guess you cant have it all, and we did have five healthy clever and loving children that have remained in touch and who like us as parents and want to share time with us., so it cant all be bad.. I don't know what I would advise people to do...get married early and have the family, or wait until you had done all the traveling and nightclubbing you wanted to do, career built and then look around for a husband to father your children... I think you become more picky as you get older, want more than one does in their twenties.. I think if I had left having children and marrying until later, I might have totally missed the boat as so many young people do.. and besides, having children in your late thirties and forties is much harder work than when you are younger... a hard choice, but I think I would still come down on having it earlier rather than later..
what do you do when a friend's husband changes his mind all the time and its driving her mad****
I have a dear friend who has been married a long time, to another friend of the family. They share a daughter and both work very hard at their jobs. However, whenever this husband has an idea and then gets his family all excited about it, he will then change his mind without warning and leave the others high up in the air, not understanding why or what had changed his mind. ~The latest episode was last week. I agreed to go to another European country to look at houses, so my friend might look to purchase. We were going to stay three days and hopefully the Agents would show us around and take us to see the houses. Whilst we enjoyed a four star hotel, and were ferried everywhere by the Agent, we were very interested in seeing Off Plan apartments and houses that were going into their first phase. Accordingly we were shown some very fine examples and my friend fell in love with one plot. She rang her husband who didn't ring her back until late in the evening and by this time, she was feeling most deflated indeed. All her enthusiasm was slipping away and she was very anxious that he was going to repeat history and change his mind. However he had agreed that she go, that if she found something, she should say yes and purchase, and also he knew that I was going along, so that was another amount of money that I had to find in accompanying my friend.
Finally he did ring, and she explained it all and he said YES..go ahead... Of course she was over the moon and really did believe that her dream was coming true. For the next two days we were reassured by this, and thoroughly enjoyed our visiting and the Agent took us to local towns and paid for the extra night we stayed over.. Just before we left the airport, she received a text saying he agreed to all she wanted, and to enjoy our trip home. We had a terrible time getting home, delay on delay meant that we didn't actually arrive home until after 6am in the morning, instead of the expected midnight**
Over the next few days, things were up and down, up and down and she was feeling very very weary, and upset with all the mind games he is playing... and finally after telling the Agent to go ahead and they would be sending the deposit, he changed his mind again and so it was all off again... Now tonight he was supposed to come over to discuss business matters in arranging the money for the deposit, and he cancelled the meeting as he has definitely decided that buying a house abroad is not what he wants..
This man makes a whole load of money and owns a few houses that he already lets out in the UK, so money is not the problem, I think it is his controlling nature that doesn't allow his wife to make any decisions on her own...
She qualified as a Lawyer in her home country, went to University and is highly intelligent, but she has to give him all the receipts of everything she has spent in the week, and they have to total the bills up so that they balance, if they don't , he gets into another rage... not a pretty sight as he calls her bad awful swear words and all in front of their child.. he has a completely different nature when he loses his temper.
She has had to work in a part time job, because he will not allow her to work from home in a self employed capacity, he makes her meagre salary go straight into the savings accounts which they add up and use when buying the houses to let. Every penny she spends, she has to account for... Also he has had software installed where he knows exactly where she is at any given moment, to the point when if she buys something in a shop, he is texting her to ask why she is in that shop and what has she bought!
I find all this behaviour absolutely difficult to understand how she has put up with it for so long. She has been living with a person with two sides to the character... one that is kind and loving and the other that can appear without warning, that is swearing and shouting and flinging things all over the place. This home life has gone on for years, but I have only seen it at close quarters this trip, and I am at a loss as to how to help her cope with all this change and verbal abuse she has to suffer daily.. Of course her child is also deeply affected and barely speaks at home or school... although with friends, she is more relaxed and chats a lot.. .
Now he has started on his child, who is going to sit exams this summer and who is already highly anxious as she is expected to get no less than A's in her results of all subjects.. with the atmosphere in the house highly charged all the time, despite him being away all week until Friday, she is getting more and more worried in case she will not get the high marks he expects and he has started to harass the staff at her private school about her mock exam results*(*
If anyone has any ideas that I could relay to my friend on how to cope at a difficult time of exams for her daughter.. I would be grateful... a tall ask, but maybe someone would have an idea?
Finally he did ring, and she explained it all and he said YES..go ahead... Of course she was over the moon and really did believe that her dream was coming true. For the next two days we were reassured by this, and thoroughly enjoyed our visiting and the Agent took us to local towns and paid for the extra night we stayed over.. Just before we left the airport, she received a text saying he agreed to all she wanted, and to enjoy our trip home. We had a terrible time getting home, delay on delay meant that we didn't actually arrive home until after 6am in the morning, instead of the expected midnight**
Over the next few days, things were up and down, up and down and she was feeling very very weary, and upset with all the mind games he is playing... and finally after telling the Agent to go ahead and they would be sending the deposit, he changed his mind again and so it was all off again... Now tonight he was supposed to come over to discuss business matters in arranging the money for the deposit, and he cancelled the meeting as he has definitely decided that buying a house abroad is not what he wants..
This man makes a whole load of money and owns a few houses that he already lets out in the UK, so money is not the problem, I think it is his controlling nature that doesn't allow his wife to make any decisions on her own...
She qualified as a Lawyer in her home country, went to University and is highly intelligent, but she has to give him all the receipts of everything she has spent in the week, and they have to total the bills up so that they balance, if they don't , he gets into another rage... not a pretty sight as he calls her bad awful swear words and all in front of their child.. he has a completely different nature when he loses his temper.
She has had to work in a part time job, because he will not allow her to work from home in a self employed capacity, he makes her meagre salary go straight into the savings accounts which they add up and use when buying the houses to let. Every penny she spends, she has to account for... Also he has had software installed where he knows exactly where she is at any given moment, to the point when if she buys something in a shop, he is texting her to ask why she is in that shop and what has she bought!
I find all this behaviour absolutely difficult to understand how she has put up with it for so long. She has been living with a person with two sides to the character... one that is kind and loving and the other that can appear without warning, that is swearing and shouting and flinging things all over the place. This home life has gone on for years, but I have only seen it at close quarters this trip, and I am at a loss as to how to help her cope with all this change and verbal abuse she has to suffer daily.. Of course her child is also deeply affected and barely speaks at home or school... although with friends, she is more relaxed and chats a lot.. .
Now he has started on his child, who is going to sit exams this summer and who is already highly anxious as she is expected to get no less than A's in her results of all subjects.. with the atmosphere in the house highly charged all the time, despite him being away all week until Friday, she is getting more and more worried in case she will not get the high marks he expects and he has started to harass the staff at her private school about her mock exam results*(*
If anyone has any ideas that I could relay to my friend on how to cope at a difficult time of exams for her daughter.. I would be grateful... a tall ask, but maybe someone would have an idea?
Sunday, 24 January 2016
failed twice
I have failed twice to save my post and then I hit a wrong note and bummer it all went pear shaped and I lost all the words....so I am going to have another go, and on a different subject..
At first, I thought it was a hoax and not a nice one either when a notification from my cousin in New Zealand said that we had lost her brother, my cousin, a few days previously . He had been on Facebook for ages and it was comforting to know that he was happy in his marriage and step children and step grandchildren all loved him
My oldest Uncle in my father's family had married his mother when she was a young girl of 19 and pregnant and in those days, a terrible thing to face in public- my uncle feeling sorry for her offered to marry her before the baby arrived and so we all attended the wedding. A few months later he was born, a little blonde blue eyed boy .
Later, his five siblings joined him and he was the only blonde in the family Being young, I never knew the circumstances of his birth nor worried why he looked so different from his brothers and sisters. That was how it was in those days, things were never discussed and besides we were all children and it was not our place to know anything.
Over the years after our Nana died, the family stopped gathering at the house on a sunday afternoon as we had during her life there, so we drifted off to cope with our own lives and somehow all the years in between meant that I had not met up with him since he was a child.
Now in his sixties we were all back in touch and it was fascinatingly good to know how well everyone had done and that he had recovered from his time of self harming and self medicating and was at last in a truly happy relationship.
I was intending to go to meet up with him and his family, the wife that he had been married for over 20 years and to meet his family., but the week after Christmas we had the news that he had left us.
He died in his sleep just before the New Year began and so hopefully he was not aware of pain or suffering at the end. I am sure it was a terrible shock for his wife to discover him like that, but maybe its the best way to go after all....
We all know in our hearts that one day we shall suffer the same fate, but as humans we do not discuss it too much do we - Now I am into my seventh decade, I really do feel the touch of mortality more and more, and when events like this happen, it feels a lot closer and more worryingly near**
I had hoped to attend his funeral, but it is being held on a Wednesday, the one day in the week that I cannot attend as I have to babysit the grandsons of John on a Wednesday afternoon each week, and as we only have one car, cannot go, as John could not look after the boys and I certainly would never be back in time for him to go to them.
So I have missed out again in meeting up with members of my scattered family and to speak to my aunt who is still alive in her nineties and managing to cope as well as she can at this time.....
. I like to send a living plant or bush to plant in the garden as a living reminder of that person, rather than sending a wreath or money , so I feel like I failed twice in not keeping in touch, not that anyone would feel like blaming me, as we have all been busy in our lives, and they too did not make the effort to keep in touch with me, but as the eldest girl in the family, maybe I should have done a little bit more to hold it all together.
When Nana was alive, we went without fail to the house every Sunday afternoon for the adults to chat and the cousins to keep in touch and grow up knowing each other, but when she died it all seemed to stop.
Our lives now are so different. I have 1`2 grandchildren and they are scattered around. the world and those that are living in the UK are not just around the corner but a good two hours drive away so we have never had that tradition of them coming to me each week to keep the cousins all in touch and that is a shame too. but society and our lives are all so different now, with mothers in full time careers and dads too, that weekends is just a time for them to catch up with their own children, let alone anyone else's
.I shall remember my cousin as he was when I last met him, a tall blonde boy with lovely golden hair and bright bright blue eyes.... no matter in mature years, he didn't look like that any more, in my mind he will always be that young man with a whole life in front of him.
At least I can relax knowing that nothing bad will ever happen to him in his future, as he is at rest already.
At first, I thought it was a hoax and not a nice one either when a notification from my cousin in New Zealand said that we had lost her brother, my cousin, a few days previously . He had been on Facebook for ages and it was comforting to know that he was happy in his marriage and step children and step grandchildren all loved him
My oldest Uncle in my father's family had married his mother when she was a young girl of 19 and pregnant and in those days, a terrible thing to face in public- my uncle feeling sorry for her offered to marry her before the baby arrived and so we all attended the wedding. A few months later he was born, a little blonde blue eyed boy .
Later, his five siblings joined him and he was the only blonde in the family Being young, I never knew the circumstances of his birth nor worried why he looked so different from his brothers and sisters. That was how it was in those days, things were never discussed and besides we were all children and it was not our place to know anything.
Over the years after our Nana died, the family stopped gathering at the house on a sunday afternoon as we had during her life there, so we drifted off to cope with our own lives and somehow all the years in between meant that I had not met up with him since he was a child.
Now in his sixties we were all back in touch and it was fascinatingly good to know how well everyone had done and that he had recovered from his time of self harming and self medicating and was at last in a truly happy relationship.
I was intending to go to meet up with him and his family, the wife that he had been married for over 20 years and to meet his family., but the week after Christmas we had the news that he had left us.
He died in his sleep just before the New Year began and so hopefully he was not aware of pain or suffering at the end. I am sure it was a terrible shock for his wife to discover him like that, but maybe its the best way to go after all....
We all know in our hearts that one day we shall suffer the same fate, but as humans we do not discuss it too much do we - Now I am into my seventh decade, I really do feel the touch of mortality more and more, and when events like this happen, it feels a lot closer and more worryingly near**
I had hoped to attend his funeral, but it is being held on a Wednesday, the one day in the week that I cannot attend as I have to babysit the grandsons of John on a Wednesday afternoon each week, and as we only have one car, cannot go, as John could not look after the boys and I certainly would never be back in time for him to go to them.
So I have missed out again in meeting up with members of my scattered family and to speak to my aunt who is still alive in her nineties and managing to cope as well as she can at this time.....
. I like to send a living plant or bush to plant in the garden as a living reminder of that person, rather than sending a wreath or money , so I feel like I failed twice in not keeping in touch, not that anyone would feel like blaming me, as we have all been busy in our lives, and they too did not make the effort to keep in touch with me, but as the eldest girl in the family, maybe I should have done a little bit more to hold it all together.
When Nana was alive, we went without fail to the house every Sunday afternoon for the adults to chat and the cousins to keep in touch and grow up knowing each other, but when she died it all seemed to stop.
Our lives now are so different. I have 1`2 grandchildren and they are scattered around. the world and those that are living in the UK are not just around the corner but a good two hours drive away so we have never had that tradition of them coming to me each week to keep the cousins all in touch and that is a shame too. but society and our lives are all so different now, with mothers in full time careers and dads too, that weekends is just a time for them to catch up with their own children, let alone anyone else's
.I shall remember my cousin as he was when I last met him, a tall blonde boy with lovely golden hair and bright bright blue eyes.... no matter in mature years, he didn't look like that any more, in my mind he will always be that young man with a whole life in front of him.
At least I can relax knowing that nothing bad will ever happen to him in his future, as he is at rest already.
Monday, 18 January 2016
blogging
well, its aready half way through January and I still have not blogged this year much about anything- when I first started, I had so many thoughts that I wanted to let out of my head, I could manage to write something almost every day, then I got lazier and ran out of ideas- so then I decided to read the other blogs and along the way became a bit discouraged as they all seemed to be so busy doing things around the house, the children or in the kitchen, and I had served my time doing all those things, a very long time ago.
Here it is, the start of another week, and today my youngest son started a new job with a much bigger firm than before... He continues to surprise me all the time. About two years ago after working his way up the ladder at a building supplies firm on a graduate scheme, starting in the wood yard, and becoming a manager of a large outlet.. He decided to try and see if he could actually get out on the road and become a proper salesman. I was anxious as I know how hard that job is, but he sailed on, got big contracts and then was head hunted by a larger firm and leader in the building supplies industry, so he is joining them this very day. I am so amazed how he has taken to real sales, like a duck to water, and of course I am so proud of him and the fact he was right, he does suit that life*
When I was fourteen I would get the evening paper, The Evening Standard, and read all the adverts, imagining what kind of job would suit me and that I would enjoy doing. Of course, it didn't work out like I had planned... I had wanted to be a theatre clothes designer, and carried dreams of going to attend the Slade school of Art. I had friends who would have helped me get in, but financially the family could not afford me going, so I had to start working. I began my work career in a Bank. My father had talked to his friend who was a bank manager, and so I managed to start at his branch at the very bottom of course. I had not stayed on for A levels, and just had my ordinary five passes in GCE. I worked in banking for three banks for the next five years. Always never having enough money as most of it went on the trip into London where my work was. I was always in debt to my parents, and never managed to be able to save... That hasn't changed, I still find it almost impossible to save any money at any time**
Anyway, after the Banking bored me, I went and got a job as assistant to the Accountant at a company that was situated in Pall Mall London. This company worked out the money owed by radio stations all over the world, who by playing the records would have to pay for the privilege and each week the accountant would work out how much each station owed and send an invoice.. This was not as challenging as I had imagined, so after a while I went and found another job, this time in Reception where I answered the phone from people all over the world, as it was a PR company, one that was well known internationally.. From there I joined Ogilvy and Mather which was even more famous and for them I was working as a secretary to the accountant again* Me, a secretary, it took me all day to finish a letter! how they had such patience with me, was astounding as I really was not such a hot shot at being a secretary! Finally I did find what I was going to do with myself when I joined a Recruitment Company.. At last I was interested and found it challenging each day, in a positive way, where I could help others get their perfect jobs*
I worked in recruitment for almost forty years, and closed my business just two years ago. Now I have retirement to find a way to engage me, and that is why I thought that blogging would be a good outlet.. However as I said, I ran out of words.. so I am going to try in the next few weeks to get some photos done and maybe discover what way I want this blog to go. So, hang on to you hats, as I take off on another great adventure.. I hope... speak again soon..
Here it is, the start of another week, and today my youngest son started a new job with a much bigger firm than before... He continues to surprise me all the time. About two years ago after working his way up the ladder at a building supplies firm on a graduate scheme, starting in the wood yard, and becoming a manager of a large outlet.. He decided to try and see if he could actually get out on the road and become a proper salesman. I was anxious as I know how hard that job is, but he sailed on, got big contracts and then was head hunted by a larger firm and leader in the building supplies industry, so he is joining them this very day. I am so amazed how he has taken to real sales, like a duck to water, and of course I am so proud of him and the fact he was right, he does suit that life*
When I was fourteen I would get the evening paper, The Evening Standard, and read all the adverts, imagining what kind of job would suit me and that I would enjoy doing. Of course, it didn't work out like I had planned... I had wanted to be a theatre clothes designer, and carried dreams of going to attend the Slade school of Art. I had friends who would have helped me get in, but financially the family could not afford me going, so I had to start working. I began my work career in a Bank. My father had talked to his friend who was a bank manager, and so I managed to start at his branch at the very bottom of course. I had not stayed on for A levels, and just had my ordinary five passes in GCE. I worked in banking for three banks for the next five years. Always never having enough money as most of it went on the trip into London where my work was. I was always in debt to my parents, and never managed to be able to save... That hasn't changed, I still find it almost impossible to save any money at any time**
Anyway, after the Banking bored me, I went and got a job as assistant to the Accountant at a company that was situated in Pall Mall London. This company worked out the money owed by radio stations all over the world, who by playing the records would have to pay for the privilege and each week the accountant would work out how much each station owed and send an invoice.. This was not as challenging as I had imagined, so after a while I went and found another job, this time in Reception where I answered the phone from people all over the world, as it was a PR company, one that was well known internationally.. From there I joined Ogilvy and Mather which was even more famous and for them I was working as a secretary to the accountant again* Me, a secretary, it took me all day to finish a letter! how they had such patience with me, was astounding as I really was not such a hot shot at being a secretary! Finally I did find what I was going to do with myself when I joined a Recruitment Company.. At last I was interested and found it challenging each day, in a positive way, where I could help others get their perfect jobs*
I worked in recruitment for almost forty years, and closed my business just two years ago. Now I have retirement to find a way to engage me, and that is why I thought that blogging would be a good outlet.. However as I said, I ran out of words.. so I am going to try in the next few weeks to get some photos done and maybe discover what way I want this blog to go. So, hang on to you hats, as I take off on another great adventure.. I hope... speak again soon..
Saturday, 2 January 2016
Birthday Boy
Today my husband of 25 years, turned 70* He is still active, still jogs along outside every day, and keep himself as healthily as he possibly can. He was diagnosed with COPD about five years ago, and has to rely on puffers and pills, but he never gives in to this ailment.. he ploughs on regardless.
Although since 20, he has never smoked, he grew up over a Pub, as his parents were publicans and had a lot of different addresses as they moved around the area managing the pubs for a Brewery. Of course in those days, smoking was even looked on as helpful for people with a nervous disposition, so smoking took place everywhere, especially in public houses. Living above the pub itself, he was absorbing passive smoking, long before it became known. When he was diagnosed, the doctor told him, that even though he had given up smoking at 20, as his lungs were still developing, and do so until one is 25, and living above a pub, he had become affected and now his breathing was less affective than it should have been. He was diagnosed with this COPD and without his medication he would find breathing normally almost impossible! Before he had his latest medication, his breathing was so bad that he lacked energy and kept falling asleep and would not go to the doctors, as they had already told him that this illness was incurable and could only get worse...
We spent the day with his children who treated us out to a lovely lunch, and then tea back at their home, with a special birthday cake with candles on it too! Now we are back home and going to relax on this Saturday evening and chill out again. We have celebrated such a lovely loving happy Christmas with friends and family, we have been very spoiled indeed.
I got him many gifts, not all expensive, but thought out that he would enjoy and appreciate... it very rarely costs a lot to find items that will please him, and by giving him more than one, makes the enjoyment more precious.
I was so fortunate to be given a second chance in life and I found him after suffering years of coping with a brilliant minded husband, who used alcohol as a relief crutch and who as my children got older, became harder to cope with. Finally I left after 23 years, and a couple of years later I found my present husband.
How lucky I am that I have been able to be with him for this long.. and now we are both 70, and still have a lot of living to do together. What fun that is going to be, and how much I look forward to it.. Today has been a blessing, and I hope we have many more blessings to receive in the years ahead.
Thursday, 31 December 2015
Another New Year beginning!
When I was a child, to think of entering a new year with the number 2016 seemed to be so far in the future, it was impossible to think about it in reality... Now we are arriving at this doorstep and a whole new year waiting to be experienced.. I truly hope that for everyone, this coming year will be more peaceful and safer for people to live in.. That the rebels and evil ones are over come and life will be safe again. A hard wish, but maybe not impossible to achieve given the right approach...
meanwhile, whilst going through all my paperwork in my annual attempt at de cluttering, I found two poems.. One written by myself about my mother, and the other written by my younger daughter about her daughter.. so I thought I would type them out again.. just so its not on a piece of paper, that could be easily lost*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Portrait
Once I had a mother
Who lived so far away
And yet we spoke together
Each and every day.
Her words of wisdom I recall
Although I saw her not,
Through living long
And watching much
She always learned a lot.
Her hair was grey,
Her figure trim
Her clothes were smart
Her shoes did say,
That here was a woman
Small and neat,
Who's size of shoe
could not be beat*
She smiled a lot
And spoke out loud
Cared very much
Not lost in a crowd.
She was my mother
I can't recall
Whether I told her
I loved her all
The time
And no matter what,
I was the luckiest daughter of
the lot!!
I wrote this for a birthday long long ago... if she had lived on, she would have been 100 this year, and her shoe size was 3, so hard to beat*
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Sleepless Nights
Singular moments in a rush of days
Isolated mid-nights of disturbed sleep
We dance together to whispered melody
Shh my sweet, sleep will come
Be still and embrace peace.
A twitch, a creak, she stirs again
As her dream place recedes
She finds comfort in my arms
My soothing heartbeat
Sways her lids
And slowly she drifts away.
Soon she will grow tall
These baby nights long forgotten
Breath deep, hold close, capture
these precious moments
To last a lifetime.
Gabriella Maria O'Rourke 2008
meanwhile, whilst going through all my paperwork in my annual attempt at de cluttering, I found two poems.. One written by myself about my mother, and the other written by my younger daughter about her daughter.. so I thought I would type them out again.. just so its not on a piece of paper, that could be easily lost*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Portrait
Once I had a mother
Who lived so far away
And yet we spoke together
Each and every day.
Her words of wisdom I recall
Although I saw her not,
Through living long
And watching much
She always learned a lot.
Her hair was grey,
Her figure trim
Her clothes were smart
Her shoes did say,
That here was a woman
Small and neat,
Who's size of shoe
could not be beat*
She smiled a lot
And spoke out loud
Cared very much
Not lost in a crowd.
She was my mother
I can't recall
Whether I told her
I loved her all
The time
And no matter what,
I was the luckiest daughter of
the lot!!
I wrote this for a birthday long long ago... if she had lived on, she would have been 100 this year, and her shoe size was 3, so hard to beat*
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Sleepless Nights
Singular moments in a rush of days
Isolated mid-nights of disturbed sleep
We dance together to whispered melody
Shh my sweet, sleep will come
Be still and embrace peace.
A twitch, a creak, she stirs again
As her dream place recedes
She finds comfort in my arms
My soothing heartbeat
Sways her lids
And slowly she drifts away.
Soon she will grow tall
These baby nights long forgotten
Breath deep, hold close, capture
these precious moments
To last a lifetime.
Gabriella Maria O'Rourke 2008
Wednesday, 30 December 2015
a text frm JOhn Wesley
“Do all the good you can,
By all the means you can,
In all the ways you can,
In all the places you can,
At all the times you can,
To all the people you can,
As long as ever you can.”
~ John Wesley
These words are so lovely, and hard to keep, but worthy to try and do it whilst we are living and starting a new year. I actually do try already to live this way and at times its gets a bit hard if the person you are with and trying to be kind to, does not appreciate all your efforts. But that is no excuse to give up on them, just give them another day and more time to realise that you are truly seeking to aid them in what they need to do, rather than being in judgement on them and their previous actions. All my life I try to put myself in the other person's shoes and how that does help.. When people snap at you, its not because they are angry at you, but at something they themselves cannot achieve alone. They are tired, they are weary, there is any number of things that can make them be quite short with you.. Understand a bit where they are coming from and you will develop soon a quiet patience that will aid you in all your efforts. I find that my main point that I have to overcome is impatience* I want everything done now, and immediately a result.. of course the world does not work like that and I do so admire people that have patience to let matters takes their proper course and not interfere.
This coming year I am going to try even harder to be the best person I can, helping when I can be of help. ..Being tidier in all that I do, and organised in a much more meaningful way. I am also going to try and keep my blog more up to date and post a lot more.. getting used to having a blog has taken time, and now I am going to build that time into my daily timetable and organise myself so much better.. so I will be doing the best that I can for everyone that I can, and as long as I can.. thank you dear John Wesley...
Saturday, 26 December 2015
the last of Downton ......... aah
Just finished watching that last very last Downton Abbey programme... yes it was all sloppy and sentimental, but really absorbing too.. I have enjoyed all the episodes over the years, and the actors have always given their best.. a series truly worth watching every time** It evokes a time in England when all the old ways were finishing after the first world war, and it is so interesting to return and see a little of what was lost*.. this generation that we live in, does not have the grandeur, but we have the poor and impoverished with us still..the rich are still rich and lead different lives whilst the poor get poorer... as they always said, the more it changes, the more it remains the same... the last scene of the house standing tall as ever, as the snow blankets the ground.. perfect!
Friday, 18 December 2015
An Old-Fashioned World: A year
I was not able to leave a comment, so will do so here... thank you for your comments and I so hope we shall be in touch again.. meanwhile you have yourself and your family, the best xmas yet, and may the coming year be the very best you've ever had... all the best janzi
Tuesday, 15 December 2015
An open letter catchup that is for all my friends... a round robin in fact.... soemthing I hate receiving, but it is a short way to catch up with the major things that have happened..
A roundup of all, or most, that has happened to us in this
last year*
In late 2014, I received an unexpected refund which allowed
me at long last to go visit my son and family in Australia. We had a lovely
Christmas with all the family attending here the day after boxing day, and then
on the Friday 23rd January, I was leaving England to go visit
Australia. It was a very long flight with a stop at Dubai and arrived safe and
sound early evening at Perth Airport.
I was met by my son
Daniel and his lovely wife Alex and grandsons Griffin and Orion. The weather
was amazingly warm and it was magical to be actually there with my boy. The next day, Sunday, a celebration was held
at their house for Griffin’s fifth birthday.. I stayed for two weeks and had
the most wonderful time. Because of my condition I had not dared to travel far,
but my body behaved itself and all was well until the last day before leaving
when I had another accident, but soon recovered.
Because it had been so hot and my family refused to let me
go out without factor 30 plastered all over me, John didn’t recognise me at the
airport, because I was the same colour as I left, no tanning at all!!!!
I fell in love with Perth and would love to go back there ,
and in fact plan to return for Dan’s big birthday in 2017.
It was easy to fall back into the old routines at home, and
then in April, I received news that my 4th child Christopher’s
marriage was over after 8 years of marriage. This was so shocking , we had no
idea they had troubles, and I was very upset and could not get it through my
mind how final it all was. We tried talking to both of them, but it is
happening..
A few weeks later I
got Shingles. I think it was the shock, but who knows? I was fortunate enough
to get to the doctors and got a medication that helped the worst of the illness
be contained. So after a while I was recovered and back into all the routines.
Meanwhile, John who had his own medical troubles seemed to be coping well and
he is amazingly tolerant at my going away abroad.. His breathing seemed to be
ok, he has a condition called COPD.. which is incurable, but he keeps on going
and jogging every day.
In May I had an appointment to have a mammogram. I was very
loth to attend to this, as the whole procedure is hard and sometimes quite
painful.. however I DID attend. Two weeks later I got a letter asking me to
have a return appointment at the hospital. Naturally I was worried, but when I
got there I was told that there was good news as it looked like pre cancer
cells found in my left breast. It meant another appointment which John attended
with me. The surgeon said that I could leave it, or have a lumpectomy or a
mastectomy . Of course I opted for the lumpectomy and then had fifteen days of
radiation therapy.
I decided to wait to have it until I got back from my visit
to Canada seeing Gabriella, my daughter and her family. They live in the
Ontario area and quite rural. It was lovely to see her and share time with them
all despite the absence of her son, who had left home some time before.[ Too
long a story to tell her, but its a sad one]...AND I met up with another old
friend who I saw the last time I was in
Canada and who I first met when I was 18!!!
We had a lovely meal out together and could not stop talking .... anyway, when I returned after two weeks,
I then started the procedure to have the lumpectomy and radiation.
Page 2
John was amazing and drove me each day for my radiation
thereapy to the hospital
Finally in mid
September I was finally free of hospital and life resumed once more.
Other news...
This May I celebrated
my 70th Birthday, and then on September 3rd John and I
celebrated our twenty fifth wedding anniversary. Cannot believe where the years
go to****
We had another Grandchild join our family, a little girl
called Amelia Ivy, the daughter of John’s son Richard and his wife. She
will be one year old on December 28th.
I also had the sad news of four of my schoolfriends I had
kept in touch with over the years, had passed
away and that was very upsetting as I had been quite close to them all.
I guess its something we will have to get used to as we get older now.
I have been continuing with the legal action against the
hospital and visited many specialists from both sides during the year. Today
the 10th of December I will hear whether the judge thinks we have a
case in order to proceed so that is ongoing at the moment.
Now we are almost at
the end of the year, and so much that happened, is in the past, and we are all
looking forward to the next Year.
I hope for everyone
that I send this letter to, will enjoy an even better year next year, and that
2016 will be really happy and healthy for everyone..
Thursday, 10 December 2015
Monday, 16 November 2015
A broken Heart
On Friday night, just as I was ready to turn off the computer, I was given the chance to see a piece of immediate news that I could not believe... on the front page of the newspaper was news just in, of a terrible massacre in Paris.. citing several places that had been attacked, and the number of people that were thought to be dead and injured** I did not think I would sleep that night after understanding the enormity of these actions by corrupt and ideologised young men, saying their actions were for Allah and the Isis factor. Their understanding was, that by killing innocent people enjoying a night out on a Friday meeting friends attending concerts and football games, it was in the name of Allah... How this comment ever justifies killing I will never understand. We know that the Mosques have people within their clergy who incite young people with their rhetoric, but we allow them to speak and radicalise the young... We must stop this dangerous practice within these places.. Not one person of authority from the Muslim community has spoken out against the horror that was inflicted on the innocent people in Paris... Not one person has stood up to say this is not the way of Islam... and you know why? Because for centuries, this belief includes the killing of people who are not following the Islamic religion... and who are therefore considered Infidels.
In the early Middle Ages, a war was carried out against the Muslims because of their influence over the majority of Europe against the Christians of the World. ~These wars were brutal and awful in their destruction of lives.. all because the Muslims wanted to overtake and influence all the world. Luckily after much struggles, the Christian Factor survived and the Muslims were pushed back into smaller areas of the world.. Now after so many centuries, this new interpretation of Islam is pushing forward with the same agenda of taking over the whole world. We are blind if we think that the thin veneer of suitable behaviour in order to fit into our modern society, means that muslims are sufficiently westernised, not to be a threat to us all.
Modern society offers belief that a multi cultural society is possible and will lead to peace. However in order that society can say this we have to allow all cultures with their different beliefs to live along side each other and not interfere with how they are undermining our present society. It is extremely difficult for people of different faiths and cultures to live along side each other without conflict. Since the beginning of time, tribes have sought to overcome other tribes in their search for food, water and safety... Once they have achieved that and their numbers grow, they go further afield to search and overcome other tribes for possession of their land, food and water.. and so it goes on and on...
These days with wars all over the world., and parents seeking safety, we have the disasterous situation of many millions of refugees seeking help and attention to get to a place of safety. Within these terribly afflicted families are also other insurgents, intent on spreading their version of Islam wherever they can...and they will bring danger wherever they go and are allowed to stay.. Today on the news, we have been told that 45o young people have been to be trained in Syria, and who have now returned to the UK without their passports being revoked, or they being detained whilst we discover the truth about their visit to the war zone that is Syria.. Why has this happened? Why are they allowed to walk amongst us, planning what mayhem in the future? Our Border controls have always been lax, but in this time of danger, we are all at risk.... God help us, not just here in the UK but all over the western world.. We are truly at the start of a very perilous journey..
In the early Middle Ages, a war was carried out against the Muslims because of their influence over the majority of Europe against the Christians of the World. ~These wars were brutal and awful in their destruction of lives.. all because the Muslims wanted to overtake and influence all the world. Luckily after much struggles, the Christian Factor survived and the Muslims were pushed back into smaller areas of the world.. Now after so many centuries, this new interpretation of Islam is pushing forward with the same agenda of taking over the whole world. We are blind if we think that the thin veneer of suitable behaviour in order to fit into our modern society, means that muslims are sufficiently westernised, not to be a threat to us all.
Modern society offers belief that a multi cultural society is possible and will lead to peace. However in order that society can say this we have to allow all cultures with their different beliefs to live along side each other and not interfere with how they are undermining our present society. It is extremely difficult for people of different faiths and cultures to live along side each other without conflict. Since the beginning of time, tribes have sought to overcome other tribes in their search for food, water and safety... Once they have achieved that and their numbers grow, they go further afield to search and overcome other tribes for possession of their land, food and water.. and so it goes on and on...
These days with wars all over the world., and parents seeking safety, we have the disasterous situation of many millions of refugees seeking help and attention to get to a place of safety. Within these terribly afflicted families are also other insurgents, intent on spreading their version of Islam wherever they can...and they will bring danger wherever they go and are allowed to stay.. Today on the news, we have been told that 45o young people have been to be trained in Syria, and who have now returned to the UK without their passports being revoked, or they being detained whilst we discover the truth about their visit to the war zone that is Syria.. Why has this happened? Why are they allowed to walk amongst us, planning what mayhem in the future? Our Border controls have always been lax, but in this time of danger, we are all at risk.... God help us, not just here in the UK but all over the western world.. We are truly at the start of a very perilous journey..
Monday, 2 November 2015
lacking order leads to chaos.
My grandson left home this Spring, as soon as he turned 16 years old. Apparently that is the age, when you can make decisions and act on them. When you do not have to do what your parents wish you to do. When you can refuse to see a Doctor or Specialist who might be able to help you curb your anxieties, but where you can decide to self medicate instead with Marihuana.
When I was rearing my children I was able to discipline them without worry. When they deserved a telling off, or a smack they got it without worrying about the law getting involved. Things have got so bad now, that parents are afraid to parent, and now we are seeing almost feral children taking over schools' classrooms and just doing what they want to do. Society is going to lose out by rearing this generation who have no respect for older people, no respect for each other, and who live their lives
concentrating on what they want... whether it is booze or drugs, endless parties and noisy music or the latest gadgets or designer clothes*
They do not have any idea that speaking to an adult, should be different than talking to another
child. They have no concept of knowing their place in this world, which is as youngsters, learning how to behave and succeed
I worry how the next generation is going to cope. Already we have children having children, more than at any time before.. we were sold the idea that sex education in schools would teach the kids what happened when they indulged in it, and what happened?,., more babies than ever are born year on year sometimes to girls as young as 11!.
If a child will not follow your rules and wishes in your own home, you cannot put a finger on them to make them fall into line... so, we have children ruling the roost and demanding and getting whatever they wish for. All this turbulence is caused by lack of discipline in their private lives and also society who has decided that children have as many rights as adults. This surely must be incorrect.
We were taught to respect Adults because they were older and wiser.. We stood up together when a teacher came to the classroom. We called all adults Mr.. or Mrs.... or Aunty and Uncle if they were not related but friends of the family... Grandparents were definitely called by a proper address, rather than first names as seems to be the case so often, now.
I resent very much, the fact that my step grandchildren have been allowed by their parents to call me by my first name. When I objected, the 8 year old, said to me, 'but my mummy calls you by your name, and I already have a grandma.'...I have tried to get them to call me something understandable, like Grandma J, but no go.
I am far away from my daughter living in Canada, but the situation would be the same here, if they lived here. We have given too many rights to the children and they do not have the maturity to be able to manage these rights correctly. They are so aware from a very young age, that touching them by smacks or restraint is against the law and they are not afraid to say so to your face!
I have an example of this freedom to choose , which is my grandson refusing to live in his own home with his parents, because he could not do without smoking the weed... he feels that his parents should ignore the fact that he smokes several times a day, to the point where he is incoherent and not able to function. He thinks that his choice should be allowed.. he knows that his father cannot hit him, so causes huge scenes to try and goad him into retaliation, then he could go to the social services and say that his life is endangered by his father's behaviour... what kind of society are we rearing.?
.. it is quickly falling back into anarchy, which we can see if we look at the trouble spots all over the world.. the young are upsetting all the rules, causing anarchy and unrest, as they believe they can establish a better, more fairer world... absolute rubbish.!!!.. the balance will never be addressed to being all equal, life just does not turn out like that..
. Even if you shared wealth and possessions equally, within a very short time, there will be those that have more, and those that have less... its an endless cycle and one which gets repeated over and over.
Whilst trying to safeguard the safety of children within the home, trying to make adults not beat their children, the law has backfired! ... There will always be abusers, and that will continue , rules or no rules, law or no law.. For the sake of the few abusers, we have left our parents without the equipment to run orderly and respectful homes, where love abounds and the children do well and treat their adults and older people with respect and honour..
We need the tools to create a safe environment for our kids, but at the moment its a total mess and doesn't seem to be getting any better. Instead of stopping abuse by parents on children, we are creating a society, where the children abuse the adults , and that's no way to run the world!
When I was rearing my children I was able to discipline them without worry. When they deserved a telling off, or a smack they got it without worrying about the law getting involved. Things have got so bad now, that parents are afraid to parent, and now we are seeing almost feral children taking over schools' classrooms and just doing what they want to do. Society is going to lose out by rearing this generation who have no respect for older people, no respect for each other, and who live their lives
concentrating on what they want... whether it is booze or drugs, endless parties and noisy music or the latest gadgets or designer clothes*
They do not have any idea that speaking to an adult, should be different than talking to another
child. They have no concept of knowing their place in this world, which is as youngsters, learning how to behave and succeed
I worry how the next generation is going to cope. Already we have children having children, more than at any time before.. we were sold the idea that sex education in schools would teach the kids what happened when they indulged in it, and what happened?,., more babies than ever are born year on year sometimes to girls as young as 11!.
If a child will not follow your rules and wishes in your own home, you cannot put a finger on them to make them fall into line... so, we have children ruling the roost and demanding and getting whatever they wish for. All this turbulence is caused by lack of discipline in their private lives and also society who has decided that children have as many rights as adults. This surely must be incorrect.
We were taught to respect Adults because they were older and wiser.. We stood up together when a teacher came to the classroom. We called all adults Mr.. or Mrs.... or Aunty and Uncle if they were not related but friends of the family... Grandparents were definitely called by a proper address, rather than first names as seems to be the case so often, now.
I resent very much, the fact that my step grandchildren have been allowed by their parents to call me by my first name. When I objected, the 8 year old, said to me, 'but my mummy calls you by your name, and I already have a grandma.'...I have tried to get them to call me something understandable, like Grandma J, but no go.
I am far away from my daughter living in Canada, but the situation would be the same here, if they lived here. We have given too many rights to the children and they do not have the maturity to be able to manage these rights correctly. They are so aware from a very young age, that touching them by smacks or restraint is against the law and they are not afraid to say so to your face!
I have an example of this freedom to choose , which is my grandson refusing to live in his own home with his parents, because he could not do without smoking the weed... he feels that his parents should ignore the fact that he smokes several times a day, to the point where he is incoherent and not able to function. He thinks that his choice should be allowed.. he knows that his father cannot hit him, so causes huge scenes to try and goad him into retaliation, then he could go to the social services and say that his life is endangered by his father's behaviour... what kind of society are we rearing.?
.. it is quickly falling back into anarchy, which we can see if we look at the trouble spots all over the world.. the young are upsetting all the rules, causing anarchy and unrest, as they believe they can establish a better, more fairer world... absolute rubbish.!!!.. the balance will never be addressed to being all equal, life just does not turn out like that..
. Even if you shared wealth and possessions equally, within a very short time, there will be those that have more, and those that have less... its an endless cycle and one which gets repeated over and over.
Whilst trying to safeguard the safety of children within the home, trying to make adults not beat their children, the law has backfired! ... There will always be abusers, and that will continue , rules or no rules, law or no law.. For the sake of the few abusers, we have left our parents without the equipment to run orderly and respectful homes, where love abounds and the children do well and treat their adults and older people with respect and honour..
We need the tools to create a safe environment for our kids, but at the moment its a total mess and doesn't seem to be getting any better. Instead of stopping abuse by parents on children, we are creating a society, where the children abuse the adults , and that's no way to run the world!
Friday, 30 October 2015
I am back in touch with the Universe and cannot be happier**
I was not surprised to find that the iphone had to be completely reconnected to the web, as if it was a new machine... so I went and called Apple help, and finally after several attempts to get seen to , and after holding on each time for more than ten minutes, I got a girl who was very very helpful... later it turned out it was her first day, and she had the patience of Job, as I am no techie, and had to wait for me to implement her suggestions, but she got it working again.
. I think that the person yesterday at the Apple shop should have got me back on line, but it was so busy I don't expect he really had the time...
all in all, I think it was almost two hours of hanging on then chatting to my friend the girl who was based in Lisbon** to get me back connected... well, how marvellous that feels, and I just hope that from now on in, this phone will behave itself***
This is a picture of a very happy lady, back in touch with Blogland yay !!!!¬
. I think that the person yesterday at the Apple shop should have got me back on line, but it was so busy I don't expect he really had the time...
all in all, I think it was almost two hours of hanging on then chatting to my friend the girl who was based in Lisbon** to get me back connected... well, how marvellous that feels, and I just hope that from now on in, this phone will behave itself***
This is a picture of a very happy lady, back in touch with Blogland yay !!!!¬eureka!!!
I went to meet with the Oncologist this morning Monday 26th October 2015, and she was absolutely wreathed in smiles after examining me. She palpated the area that had been given radio therapy and saw that there was some scar tissue that made it feel a little hard around the site of the lumpectomy, but she said it was obviously wonderful to be able to say that I am now all clear, and that I don't have to be seen again until next year, when I will be called in for another Mammogram just to keep an eye on things.. Phew, what a relief... I hadn't really realised just how anxious I had been before the meeting... now I can relax and do whatever presents itself to do.. wonderful news, and so thankful for attending that mammogram in May...
tomorrow I get to go on a very long drive.. about almost 4 hours away.. to visit an old school friend. the last time we met was several years ago and it will be good to catch up with her, and another friend who will be meeting me there. I hope that the weather is as clement as today has been. Today was just the most wonderful autumn day, very mild and with all the wonderful colours of the trees and their leaves. Darkness catches up with us quickly now, but its to be expected... just that its so nice when the evenings are long, but now around five thirty the darkness imposes its will on the living. Each afternoon John takes Millie out for her walk.. Its about an hour and she gets to run free for a while, but now, they are returning in the darkness even though when they left it was bright sunshine.
I am still feeling the affect of this radio therapy I think, because around 7 30 in the evening I start to flag, and if it was not so early, I would happily climb into my bed and go to sleep. I just hope that the long journey tomorrow will be ok, and that I will be back earlier than that so I wont fall asleep on the motorway*
Although England is a very small place, travelling to see friends in other parts of the world can take some hours, and this time, my friend lives near Southampton, so its a reasonably straight line there, just a long time getting to her house!!
this is a bit out of sync as it happened at the start of this week, but I shall put it here anyway, another set of random thoughts ,,
tomorrow I get to go on a very long drive.. about almost 4 hours away.. to visit an old school friend. the last time we met was several years ago and it will be good to catch up with her, and another friend who will be meeting me there. I hope that the weather is as clement as today has been. Today was just the most wonderful autumn day, very mild and with all the wonderful colours of the trees and their leaves. Darkness catches up with us quickly now, but its to be expected... just that its so nice when the evenings are long, but now around five thirty the darkness imposes its will on the living. Each afternoon John takes Millie out for her walk.. Its about an hour and she gets to run free for a while, but now, they are returning in the darkness even though when they left it was bright sunshine.
I am still feeling the affect of this radio therapy I think, because around 7 30 in the evening I start to flag, and if it was not so early, I would happily climb into my bed and go to sleep. I just hope that the long journey tomorrow will be ok, and that I will be back earlier than that so I wont fall asleep on the motorway*
Although England is a very small place, travelling to see friends in other parts of the world can take some hours, and this time, my friend lives near Southampton, so its a reasonably straight line there, just a long time getting to her house!!
this is a bit out of sync as it happened at the start of this week, but I shall put it here anyway, another set of random thoughts ,,
what a palaver**
On Monday because BT telecoms advert kept getting in the way every time I wished to use the web on my mobile, I decided to see if I could rid myself of the annoyance by reverting to an older setting.. well, that did it* It froze onscreen with the apple icon, and stayed like that.. could not get it to jump or reboot, no matter what I tried over the next few days, and oh, what a loss it was to me..
I went to visit friends and of course got lost, because I didn't have my little helpful map thing on the phone
.. finally on Thursday, that is, yesterday, I got to go to the Apple shop in Leicester.. Of course I printed out a map and directions, but guess what?
There was an accident, so had to turn round, rejoin the motorway and get off at the next junction.. so no map was helpful at all!! I stopped at a small garage and the lady told me the directions and I bought the map of the area off her, and started on my way again. The kindness of some people is so charming.. anyway, got to the centre of the town, stopped in a restricted zone to see if any one could help.. just hope I don't get a ticket for that... then parked and thought that if I have to walk, a long way, then I will have to do it, but park the car first..
On my way to the lifts I asked a man where to find the shop and he said that there was one in the very centre where we stood.. Thank the lord, again the kindness of strangers.. he took me onto the floor of the mall and pointed it out to me..
A young man in the shop saw me and took the phone away for half an hour, then returned it to me.. the phone is now working, but I have to rejoin it to the wifi and all the other settings re establish..
Now I am NOT a techie, so probably the whole of today will be taken up, just trying to reconnect... wish me luck!!!
I went to visit friends and of course got lost, because I didn't have my little helpful map thing on the phone
.. finally on Thursday, that is, yesterday, I got to go to the Apple shop in Leicester.. Of course I printed out a map and directions, but guess what?
There was an accident, so had to turn round, rejoin the motorway and get off at the next junction.. so no map was helpful at all!! I stopped at a small garage and the lady told me the directions and I bought the map of the area off her, and started on my way again. The kindness of some people is so charming.. anyway, got to the centre of the town, stopped in a restricted zone to see if any one could help.. just hope I don't get a ticket for that... then parked and thought that if I have to walk, a long way, then I will have to do it, but park the car first..
On my way to the lifts I asked a man where to find the shop and he said that there was one in the very centre where we stood.. Thank the lord, again the kindness of strangers.. he took me onto the floor of the mall and pointed it out to me..
A young man in the shop saw me and took the phone away for half an hour, then returned it to me.. the phone is now working, but I have to rejoin it to the wifi and all the other settings re establish..
Now I am NOT a techie, so probably the whole of today will be taken up, just trying to reconnect... wish me luck!!!
Sunday, 25 October 2015
set piece for Autumn
I loved learning.. not much good at it really because I never pushed myself, but I held my own, never first, but not last either in the classroom.
I was taught by nuns. They were very strict, but fair. I have read all sorts of horror stories of people educated by nuns, but our nuns were not nasty or sadistic, just good wholesome women who were there to teach us the subjects. It was a school that was established about thirty years before I joined it. I was nine, so that would have been in 1954. We had moved house to Hampton Middlesex, and the school was a bus ride away in the next village. Each morning we would walk down the road for about fifteen minutes and then wait on the side of the platform for the train to arrive. We went with slightly older girls who kept an eye on us, making sure we didn't get into any danger.
After arriving at the station in the village of Sunbury on Thames, we would then walk together for another 15 to 20 minutes to the gates of the school then walk up the long drive. On the right of the drive there was a big field with at least one or more horses just chumping away at the grass. Never knew who owned them but we saw them every day.
Walking up the drive would take another few minutes before we would arrive at the cloakroom to take off our outer garments and go to our classroom.
tomorrow
Tomorrow I am meeting up with my oncologist to decide if that treatment was sufficient and I don't need any more attention.. I certainly hope so, but I shall wait and see and not get worried until I know. Its been quite a journey from the mammogram in May and then after coming back from seeing my girl in Canada, starting the treatment in July... 15 days of radiotherapy and then, as they said, two more weeks when the therapy was continuing to work around the breast... bruised and discoloured, itchy and irritated skin that broke and wept a bit... then it all started to heal... Then, I caught a virus that laid me low for three weeks, so this evening I am happy that my body is back to normal and I feel quite myself again.
I cannot imagine that in two months we shall be at the end of another Christmas day.. This year, instead of entertaining the family and friends, I am going to be spoiled and given lunch at my daughter's house in Oxford. My other two sons will be there and her family, so it will be super to be all together.. We shall probably try and ring Dan in Australia and Gaby in Canada, so we can all chat and catch up and bring them into the celebrations with their little families too.
I like Christmas, but it is such a lot of work for mothers and wives. I don't think that one really appreciates how much has to be done, planned and executed and keeping a smooth household without dramas as well as you go along! when all five were little, it was very hard work, but so enjoyable seeing those little faces light up on Christmas day.. what fun and happiness and laughter roared through the house. magical days indeed.
So now I am not having to worry about Christmas planning, just having to get all the gifts sorted, and I actually do start in October to get the little bits and pieces sorted so I can manage to have an array of gifts for my kids and their kids, without spending a fortune. I know how easy it is to spend a lot of money on toys and items for others, without really knowing just exactly how much everything is costing.. but this year I am going to be frugal.. no more sending out #Christmas cards Used to spend over £60 just on the postage, which is stupid money gone down the drain, so they will all be emailed, or spoken to.. I know its nice to see cards, but really the cost of sending now I am retired, it is just too much money..
I sound like a skinflint I know, but really it is common sense.. I have found reading other blogs so inspirational and the ideas astoundingly good and easy to copy.. I had one year, the very best gift of all. It was a hamper made by my daughter in law, with homemade things in it, like jam, bread biscuits, soap and it really was so wonderful as it was made with thoughtfulness and deep love.. so that's the mood for my Christmas this year.. somethings made by me, and other gifts thoughtfully chosen at the Charity Shops.. what are you all going to do this year?
I cannot imagine that in two months we shall be at the end of another Christmas day.. This year, instead of entertaining the family and friends, I am going to be spoiled and given lunch at my daughter's house in Oxford. My other two sons will be there and her family, so it will be super to be all together.. We shall probably try and ring Dan in Australia and Gaby in Canada, so we can all chat and catch up and bring them into the celebrations with their little families too.
I like Christmas, but it is such a lot of work for mothers and wives. I don't think that one really appreciates how much has to be done, planned and executed and keeping a smooth household without dramas as well as you go along! when all five were little, it was very hard work, but so enjoyable seeing those little faces light up on Christmas day.. what fun and happiness and laughter roared through the house. magical days indeed.
So now I am not having to worry about Christmas planning, just having to get all the gifts sorted, and I actually do start in October to get the little bits and pieces sorted so I can manage to have an array of gifts for my kids and their kids, without spending a fortune. I know how easy it is to spend a lot of money on toys and items for others, without really knowing just exactly how much everything is costing.. but this year I am going to be frugal.. no more sending out #Christmas cards Used to spend over £60 just on the postage, which is stupid money gone down the drain, so they will all be emailed, or spoken to.. I know its nice to see cards, but really the cost of sending now I am retired, it is just too much money..
I sound like a skinflint I know, but really it is common sense.. I have found reading other blogs so inspirational and the ideas astoundingly good and easy to copy.. I had one year, the very best gift of all. It was a hamper made by my daughter in law, with homemade things in it, like jam, bread biscuits, soap and it really was so wonderful as it was made with thoughtfulness and deep love.. so that's the mood for my Christmas this year.. somethings made by me, and other gifts thoughtfully chosen at the Charity Shops.. what are you all going to do this year?
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